I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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