Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
