Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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