Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
