My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses youâ€
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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