Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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