If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
