And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
