I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We left the knife in your bed.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
