Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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