I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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