is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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