i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When are your genitals available?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
