A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
