Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
