Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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