we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
