I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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