Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
