my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
