physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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