they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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