these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
