This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
