I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
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and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
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moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize