She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
