hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
