Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
