He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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