grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
