That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize