saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize