I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
