I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
