Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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