all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
