I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
