im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
