I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
