and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I party with great urgency now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
