My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
