Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
