Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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