I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize