In the future we'll all be gay
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
