her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
