so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
