Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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