i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
