just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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