but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize