if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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