Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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