it hurts more in the daytime
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
