My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
