oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
