He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
