i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
