come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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