I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
