I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
