Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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