so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
