thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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